


Complex

by lygodium



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crushes, M/M, Pre-Series, Roommates, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7680298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lygodium/pseuds/lygodium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You <i>were</i> listening, right?”</p>
<p>To be honest, no, no you were not. All you can think about is your imaginary almost-kiss, how gorgeous Lance looked in your head, how soft his lips must have been. Kind of ironic that you’re stuck in your imagination the night before your Complex Variables exam.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Maybe talking about kissing with your roommate (that you just <i>happen</i> to have a crush on) isn't the greatest idea when you have an exam in the morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complex

It's the Thursday night of midterm week at the Garrison, and, like all other midterm weeks before it, you and your roommate, Lance McClain, are awake at 2 in the morning, furiously and futilely studying for your Friday exams (that are at 8 in the morning, by the way). Lance has been pacing the room, repeating emergency landing instructions for the past 30 minutes; you've been hunched over your Complex Variables notebook for at least 3 hours, totally in the “study zone", as Lance has called it. Despite Lance's muttering, you think you can probably recite 4 separate proofs of the Fundamental Theorem of Algebra by now - more than you need to know, but your anxious brain won't have it any other way. Hopefully you won't forget it in the morning.

...Oh god, what if you forget how to integrate on the exam? What if Professor Longfellow wants to know the infinite sum of 1/x2??? You didn't write that proof down and she _said_ it wouldn't be on the exam, but she also said that about curl in Differential Equations last year and...

"Dude. Are you crying?"

Lance is standing next to your bed, head tilted, eyebrows raised in concern. He is like, super close to you – close enough that if he blinked, his eyelashes would probably brush your cheek – not that you think about Lance’s eyelashes on a regular basis, it’s just…

Okay, okay, Garrett, time to get off _that_ train of thought before it gets away from you.

Lance leans in a bit more – could he get any closer? – and taps you on the side of your head. “Hellooooo.” He waves a hand in front of your face. “Anybody in there? You okay, buddy?”

You try to respond, but the words end up caught in your throat and come out as a high pitched, creaky sob. 

Oh no. If you weren’t crying before, you are _definitely_ crying now. It is 2 in the morning the night before your final midterm of the semester and you are crying in front of Lance McClain – which would be less of a big deal if he was _just_ your roommate, but he also happens to be the boy you’ve had a massive crush on since you moved into this dorm room together, which makes it a much, much bigger deal. And wow, he is so close to you that if you tilted your head you would probably kiss him… no, no, _no_! That is _not_ something you want to be thinking about right now. Not when you have an exam in the morning and you are _crying_.

You try to collect your thoughts. Situations like this are what being at the Garrison is all about – working under pressure. Even if you’re not a pilot, you still have to work under a lot of stress and crying is _kind of_ a mega-inconvenience to that. So you’re going to have to regain your composure and stop crying and also hopefully stop thinking about kissing your roommate, probably, if your life depends on it. (At the very least, your _grades_ probably do.)

You blink furiously to stop the tears and take a deep sniffle. In your head, you’ve already planned out what you’re going to say. “Do you ever just get emotional about _i_? It’s _imaginary_ , dude! It doesn’t even exist!” And then you’ll laugh. You don’t think Lance knows a lot about math, but hopefully he’ll laugh along with you anyway and he’ll forget he saw you crying and you’ll both go back to studying and it’ll be all fine. 

But when you turn to face Lance, you end up looking into those blue eyes of his, and you get a little bit lost. What comes out of your mouth is not what you had planned to say at all.

“I just… I think I need a break, man.”

* * *

And this is how you and Lance wound up sitting cross-legged on the floor of your dorm room the night before your Complex Variables midterm.

It’s kind of like a slumber party – like, the tiniest slumber party you have ever been to, but two’s company, right? I mean, you’re not braiding each other’s hair or sneaking into the commissary for midnight snacks, but you have been swapping fun stories instead of sleeping or studying for the past half hour. And hey, you’re in pajamas! That’s _kind of_ like a slumber party. 

“And then I said, ‘Baby, are you a line integral? Because I really want to trace your curves.’ … which in retrospect was kind of nerdy of me – “

“Extremely nerdy,” Lance agrees.

“ – but he thought it was nice and we started going out,” you say, wrapping up the story of how your first relationship began. You offer a small smile; the memory makes you feel a bit warm and light. Kind of the same as being around Lance makes you feel.

Lance shakes his head. “Man, I wish my first relationship had been like that. I managed to date, like, the snottiest girl in the history of forever instead.”

You put on your serious face. “You know, Lance, I can see that you’re hurt, but I also want you to know that is honestly extremely unsurprising to me.”

Lance snorts and rests a hand on your shoulder. “Hunk, I’m glad I can always count on your for emotional support in my time of need.” Wow, this is some intense eye contact. His hand lingers for a moment before he pulls away, but your shoulder remains warm... is it possible for shoulders to blush?

Okay, no, not thinking about that. You refocus.

“Anyway,” you say, “I’m not doubting how bad girlfriends can get, but… maybe she wasn’t all bad?” You shrug. “Like, you must have done something fun with her, right?”

“I mean,” Lance twirls his hand through the air, “we had fun. _Lots_ of fun,” he says with a smirk.

You start to dwell on the thought of Lance “having fun” and feel your chest tighten a bit. Divert, Hunk, divert!!!

“So uh,” you stumble through your words, “anything particularly fun?”

Oh god that was the opposite of diverting. Like, if diverting was a vector, what you said was like negating it. You are definitely pointing in the opposite direction of diverting right now.

“Well,” Lance says, “she _was_ my first kiss.”

Oh good. Not the fun you were expecting. Your anxiety eases a little bit.

“I took her up to the Point after junior prom,” Lance continues, cocking an eyebrow. “You know, like a gentleman.”

He locks eyes with you. It’s hard to see since the lighting is dim, but his eyes seem to be shining a bit.

“Uh huh,” you say. “And then what?”

“Well, you know, we,” Lance fidgets, brushing a hand against the back of his neck, “we did some wild stuff! She was totally into it. You know – swooning and everything.”

“Wait, wait,” you say, “let me guess.” You clear your throat speak in the highest voice you can muster. “Oh, Lance! Take me now!” You dip as far back as you can and wrap your arms around your body while making fake smooching sounds. After a few seconds, you close your eyes and tilt your head, heaving a dramatic sigh. “I can’t believe how good you are at the kissing!”

Lance flings his arms in the air indignantly. “Hunk!”

You have yourself a good chuckle. “Don’t tell me. You kissed her on the cheek and she stormed out of your car.”

“I – I totally kissed her! Right on the mouth! Twice!” He holds up two fingers to make it extra-clear.

“Right, right,” you say, nodding. “I get it, dude.”

Lance shakes his head. “Oh no, you doubted me, so now you’re getting the full story.”

As soon as Lance starts up on the “full story”, though, you end up zoning out. Still, you can’t help but imagine what this “first kiss” of his must have been like. You don’t really know anything about Lance’s high school girlfriend, so instead it’s _you_ who’s sitting in the passenger seat of Lance’s beloved truck after junior prom. You’re wearing the same ill-fitting yellow suit jacket you wore to your first high school dance, but Lance looks sharp and cute in a light baby blue button-up shirt. He turns down the radio and puts his arm around your shoulder, and he leans close to you and puts his hand on your cheek. “Hey baby,” he says. His breath is warm against your skin. Then he moves in even closer, bringing his face towards yours, and…

_Oof_. You’re sharply pulled back into reality by Lance tossing a pillow at your face.

“Hey!” you say. You put your hand against your cheek – god you wish it was Lance’s hand – and rub your face gently. “What did I do?”

Lance crosses his arms and puffs up his chest a bit. “Have to make sure I still have a rapt audience.” He looks at you a bit skeptically. “You _were_ listening, right?”

To be honest, no, no you were not. All you can think about is your imaginary almost-kiss, how gorgeous Lance looked in your head, how soft his lips must have been. Kind of ironic that you’re stuck in your imagination the night before your Complex Variables exam. Ugh. You shake your head. The whole point of this is to take a break from your studying, not think about how awful Professor Longfellow’s exams are.

… And you zoned out again. Great. Time to save face. “Oh, definitely, totally, yes,” you say. “You kissed her and you were both into it and it was the most amazing thing that ever happened to her.” You kind of wished it would happen to you.

Lance’s face falls. “So, you don’t agree with her, do you?” He doesn’t wait for your response – which is good, because you have _no_ idea what you’d be not agreeing to. “There’s no way! No way. Only nerds who get their fashion cues from 80s magazines would be that bad at kissing.” He crosses his arms and sighs. “I definitely should’ve broken up with her. Instead I just kept at it for a few more weeks. You know,” he tilts his chin and winks, “thought I could change her mind.”

“To be honest, I kind of figured you’d be a good kisser.” You shrug, but then what you said starts to sink in, and it takes a whole lot of strength to not cover your mouth in shock. That _definitely_ hit the leaderboard of “Most Unsubtle Hints Hunk Has Ever Dropped to Lance About His Crush, Ever, Since Moving Into This Dorm Room.” 

Thankfully, Lance didn’t catch it, and as a bonus, it seems to have restored his ego a bit. “Well well well.” He rubs his chin thoughtfully. “It seems I have been crowned king of the mountain. The _kissing_ mountain.” He smiles. “Ready to accept me as your leader?”

“Hold up,” you say, putting your hands in front of you. “I said I _figured_ you’d be a good kisser, not that you are one. I mean, _I’ve_ never kissed you.” Great choice of words, Hunk. Really just digging your own grave here. You’ve got to wonder how Lance hasn’t noticed the things you’ve let slip yet. You’re pretty lucky… though it feels more like bad luck to you.

Because, honestly? You’ve fallen for Lance, hard. Really hard. Like, _extremely_ hard. Ever since you first laid eyes on the guy and found out he was going to be your roommate, it’s been hard to keep him – and his lips, and his hair, and his voice, and his _everything_ – off of your mind. Sure, he’s corny, and a bit hyper-competitive, but so is every pilot at the Garrison. And for all of his ego and strutting about, when it’s late at night and he tells you about his younger sisters, or gushes about the beach back home, or wonders if people on space missions ever miss the Earth, you kind of wish you could wrap your arms around him and… and… and kiss him, you suppose. Just go for it and see how he reacts.

And right now, him talking about his first ever girlfriend _and_ talking about kissing? It’s all a bit overwhelming for you.

Maybe Lance is overwhelmed, too – he hasn’t said a thing. His brows are furrowed and he’s staring at what appears to be your knee. He keeps opening and closing his mouth as though he intends to say something, but stops, glances up at you, and then moves his gaze back down to your knee.

This kind of feels like you messed up, somehow. Time to try and brighten the mood.

“Well, what about other people you kissed?” you ask. “What did they think?”

Lance rests his chin in his hand. “I… listen, okay, it’s not like I haven’t kissed anyone else! I just…”

He meets your gaze for a moment before looking at your knee again.

Okay, Garrett. Damage control. Say something to cheer Lance up. Anything! You’re his friend and his roommate and you know probably him better than anyone else at the Garrison. Just… say something!

“I mean, if you wanted another data point,” you say, “you could kiss me.”

Well, that sure was something.

Your heart starts pounding. If the other hints you’ve dropped this were unsubtle, this was like covering Lance’s bed in rose petals, cooking him a fancy dinner, and reading him all of the poems you’ve written since you both moved into this dorm room. (And boy, have you written a _lot_ of poetry.) You immediately start looking at his bed, the door, the weird off-color tile by the coat rack – anything but Lance. But your eyes end up getting drawn back to him. You secretly hope that he’ll just laugh it off and change the topic, because you can’t bring yourself to stop looking at his face – his bright blue eyes, his lean nose, or his lips, his soft, soft lips. You assume they must be soft, at least. That’s how you imagined them to be, in your imaginary kiss a few minutes ago.

But Lance – he doesn’t say anything. He just rubs his chin and stares at your knee, completely silent. What is he _thinking_ about? Maybe he’s trying to come up with some funny way to change the topic, like, he’ll go over to his desk and get the Kleenex and say, “Kiss you? I thought you said tissue!” Man, that would be classic Lance. And then both of you could forget about this and you can call it a night.

Nope. Lance is still just sitting there. You wish you knew what was going on in his head. Man, why won’t he _do_ something?

Suddenly, you hear Lance take a deep breath, and he starts to move. He pushes himself up onto his knees and lifts his head to meet your eyes – oh wow, his eyes are so bright; you feel a little bit lost looking into them. Your heart pounds in your ears and you feel a little bit dizzy. Lance only stays like that for a few moments, though, because then… he starts crawling. Scratch that – he starts crawling towards you.

Okay you take it back. Maybe just go back to him _not_ doing something. Because now Lance is crawling towards you? What??? Mayday! Mayday!!!! Earth to Hunk, abandon ship!!!!!!!!!!

But your body does not respond to its distress call. Instead, you freeze up. Your chest feels like it’s going to burst; your mouth goes dry and your jaw hangs slightly agape as Lance draws closer, and closer, and…

Suddenly, he’s closed the gap between you two – which notably isn’t much since your dorm room is so small, but still – and now, he’s right in front of you. Lance straightens himself up so he’s sitting with his lower legs tucked underneath him. With one hand on the ground to steady himself, he reaches the other hand up to cup your chin. Wow, his skin is _soft_. He runs his thumb against your cheek and suddenly there are sparks dancing up your spine – it’s like a small lightning storm in the space between your faces.

You end up staring straight into those bright and beautiful blue eyes of his, stunned that all of the daydreams you’ve had for the past year are colliding together _tonight_ , in the middle of midterm week, when you have an exam in less than 6 hours. This is not what you could have ever imagined – but you think you’ll let the imaginary concepts stay in your Complex Variables notebook on your bed, thank you very much. You’re not sure where this is going, but reality is just a lot more interesting tonight.

After a few seconds of intense eye contact, Lance’s eyelids droop, giving him a sultry, lidded look. And he puts on a seductive grin before saying, “Baby, are you a line integral? Because I really want to trace your curves.”

And – honestly, you can’t help it. You let out a boisterous laugh. “Oh my god, dude. That was so…”

Lance cracks a smile and starts laughing too. His hand slips from your face and falls onto your shoulder, and he leans his head into the crook of your neck. Oh wow, his face is warm. Has he been blushing this whole time?

“Man, I thought I could pull that off,” he says. “You sounded so smooth when you said it before.”

You gulp. “Guess your calculations were a bit off,” you say, mouth dry.

Lance cranes his head up to look at you. Wow. He is _really_ close. Was the air in your room always this heavy?

Thankfully, he cuts the tension a bit. “That line really is nerdy, though.” He straightens the rest of his body back out, bracing his hand on your shoulder for support.

“Extremely nerdy,” you add with a small smile.

Lance nods and takes a deep breath. His hand moves back up to your face, and he brings his head in close again. He closes his eyes, and that’s when you realize – this is _really_ happening now. This isn’t your first kiss – you know what to do – but it’s your first kiss with _Lance_ , and that feels bigger somehow. Maybe it’s because you’ve been crushing on him for more than a year. Maybe it’s because a few minutes ago you thought this was all you, but now he’s so close and you can barely handle it. Or maybe it’s just because you like him so much and you just want to kiss him so, so badly. You’re not entirely sure.

Okay, Hunk, focus. You know how to kiss a boy. Easy. Just… clear your mind, and…

You tilt your head towards Lance’s palm, and in turn, Lance tilts his head the other way. He smiles – a big, cheesy grin that he wears whenever he places in the top three in the flight simulator. Just seeing it makes you smile a little bit, too, and you relax – finally – and close your eyes.

And then his mouth is on yours and your mouth is on his and his lips aren’t soft like you had imagined – they’re a bit rough and chapped – but you like the feel of them anyway. You gather up the courage and throw your arms around his neck, which causes you to push your weight against him a bit, but Lance doesn’t seem to mind. You take a small breath through your nose; you can smell something musky and heavy and dry, and you wish you could bottle that smell and keep it forever because it makes your heart soar. This – this isn’t how you pictured it would go. In your dorm room, on the floor, at god only knows what hour of the morning when you have more pressing things to be thinking about and doing. But this is mind-blowing and earth-shattering and you realize, in that moment, just how little you care about everything else – just how into this boy you really are.

The kiss is as all-consuming as it is brief. Lance pulls away from you, but even still your heart is pumping a mile a minute. You both open your eyes and stay very still, his hand still on your cheek, your arms still around his neck.

“So?” Lance asks, trying to sound sultry. “How was it?”

“Dude,” you breathe. “Your girlfriend had no idea what she was talking about.”

He closes his eyes and nods deeply. “I see. So I take it you admit to my romantic prowess?”

“Now hold on,” you say, unable to keep the smile off your face. “We’re going to need a lot more data than just that.”

“Whatever you throw at me, I’m sure I’ll ace it,” Lance says with a suggestive grin.

And then reality comes flooding back.

“Oh my god, Lance, we have exams tomorrow.”

Lance goes stiff. “I can’t fail this flight simulator, Hunk, I’m barely in the program already!”

You grip Lance by the shoulders and give him a small shake. “Lance you are the only thing I want to do right now but we need to go to sleep, like, _immediately_.”

He takes his hand off your cheek to salute you. “Roger that, captain Hunk!”

Both of you share a moment of lightness as you brace against each other and stand up. There’s something real and grounded about you holding onto Lance’s shoulder and Lance holding onto yours that makes your heart beat a bit faster. That might just the oncoming anxiety for the exam you have tomorrow morning, though.

You split apart from one another. Lance shuts the lights and you flop into your bed. Even though you’re not touching anymore – Lance’s bed feels like an ocean away, and yet so painfully close – you can’t stop thinking about his hand on your shoulder, his breath on your cheek, his mouth on yours. They’re the thoughts that carry you into your dreams that night… well, that and those four proofs of the Fundamental Theorem of Algebra.

* * *

You both come back from your exams the next morning exhausted and uncertain of how you did. But once you’re in the same room together, neither of you really cares. Instead, you spend the rest of the day on a different subject. It is a complicated topic – more complex than Complex Variables, even – and both you and Lance have a lot to learn. But you dive into Boyfriends 101, excited and happy and together.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I've written in quite a while and I had a blast working on it! Hopefully there will be more fic (and more Hance) coming in the future! If you have Tumblr, I'm there (URL: asexualhermione). Come say hi! And thank you for reading!


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